Cleopatra 2525

Posted on June 27, 2010

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Season One Box Set

Cleopatra (Jennifer Sky), a pouty, pneumatic blonde, goes in for a boob job in 2001 and wakes up in 2525. Humanity has been driven underground by murderous mechanical ticks (the parasites, not the marks of affirmation) called Baileys, but luckily for Cleo, fashion is still as skimpy and impractical as ever. Her new boosies look great in the pink-seamed leather lingerie she whips up for herself, but they’re pretty useless when it comes to killing robots. So instead she screams – a lot – leaving the robot killing to two feisty and equally under-dressed ladies, Sarge (Victoria Pratt) and Helen (Gina Torres), aka Hel.

26th Century fashion: as practical as ever

Hel, by the way, hears voices; well, a voice – that tells her what to do. The most remarkable thing about Sarge and Hel, though, is their wrist weaponry. These gauntlets are noteworthy for the amount of grunting and pelvic thrusting required to use them. No doubt it’s all very sexy in a Beyond Thunderdome retro-futuristic bikini babes with bazookas kind of way.

Ripping off everything from The Terminator to The Matrix to folk-rock duo Denny Zager & Rick Evans’ one-hit wonder In The Year 2525, Cleopatra 2525 – subtitled ‘Space Angels’ in the series trailer, and ‘A Futuristic Action Adventure’ in the DVD menus – appears to be executive producer Sam Raimi‘s attempt to take Xena into the 26th century. Pity then, that Cleopatra is about as interesting or as funny as eating a slice of bread.

The plot is hidden between the shooting, the SFX lame, the acting cardboard and the writing weak. Which, bar the bit about the shooting, was also the case with Xena, but Cleopatra takes it to a new level; where Xena was stupid camp fun, Cleopatra is just stupid.

But that’s not the point. The point, lest we forget, is the thrusting and the grunting. Cleopatra 2525 is sci-fi soft-core porn with guns. Lots of guns. Never forget the guns.

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Posted in: DVD / TV